Deborah Lipp

At this moment I am wearing black lace “trouser socks.” Trouser socks are a weird hybrid animal that sorta resemble socks and sorta resemble “knee-his,” which are themselves a hybrid of stockings and socks. There is more cross-fertilization among women’s hosiery than in the American Kennel Association.

I have to wear femme socks. If I wear plain black socks, they end up in Arthur’s sock drawer. Black lace is a form of self-defense. I also have these very cool black socks with pink toes and heels; the pink doesn’t show when you wear them, but they show when you do laundry, thereby warning Arthur away. I have like four of those.

So what do gay couples do? Loads of wash full of boysocks. Do they just…share socks? I suppose you could, I mean, I’m not attached to my socks, I just want an adequate supply. Or maybe separate hampers and separate washloads.

Or one of them could wear femme socks.