Deborah Lipp

If you follow figure skating, you probably already know this. If you just watch the Olympics every four years, not so much. I follow the Nationals and such when I can, but not avidly. I love it but I make little time in my life for sports.

So the U.S. Figure Skating Nationals were this weekend. I watched part on Saturday and DVRed the rest. I watched the rest of Saturday (dance and women’s) on Sunday and Sunday (men’s) last night.

Holy shit.

The two top American male skaters were both in the last Winter Olympics, so if you’re an every-four-years fan, you may remember them; they are Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek. They could not be more opposite. Weir is small, artsy, and fey. He performs complex choreography laden with symbolism, and wears weird sparkly costumes that are also symbolic. When he skates well, he has ease and grace and you feel centered just to watch him. Often enough, he skates poorly or inconsistently, like a brat, and he has called himself a “princess” and a “bitch.”

Lysacek is tall and masculine. His costumes are of the pants-and-shirt variety. Men’s skating is very gay, and Lysacek probably is as well (although, y’know, we haven’t dated) but he’s kind of a top. His skating is dramatic and forceful, with straightline footwork that feels like you’ve been attacked by a mad flamenco dancer. But in a good way. He’s a balls-to-the-wall skater who pulled out a fab long program in Turino after a round of IV fluids.

So naturally, NBC was playing up the rivalry between the two. And even though the reporters are dorky, the competition was thrilling and the skating quality was amazing.

And then something happened I’ve never seen: Something no one has ever seen.

Weir and Lysacek tied.

Tied.

Each earned exactly 244.77 points. Lysacek got the gold, because the rule book says that in a tie, the higher-scoring long program wins. I have no idea what happens if both individual skates tie!

Tied.

The two athletes were stunned. They didn’t know how to take it. And I, who disdain most sports, started screaming Oh! My! God! rather loudly.

Oh. My. God.