Archive for December 3, 2006

Sunday Meditation: Self-perception

Today I was thinking about how odd it is to get fan mail. People have a perception of me, and I have a perception of me, and they might meet in the middle, or they might not.

That’s true for everyone.

Sometimes we’re misjudged. Sometimes it’s negative. Earlier this week, I got a strange email. A guy had asked me if it would be more convenient to do X than Y. I said yes it would, and thank you for considering my convenience. His response was that this proved to him I was selfish. It was some kind of test and I failed. What I actually failed at was being too trusting and honest; I took him at face value instead of realizing I was being tested. So his negative impression was a misjudgment.

Sometimes a misjudgment is neutral; it’s not negative or positive, just incorrect, like someone being wrong about your age or background. They might, indeed, be wrong about your spirit.

So, the first part of this meditation is to allow your self-knowledge to shine through misperceptions.

Ground and center.

From your center, allow a glowing light that is you, your true self, to shine.

Brighter and brighter, the real you radiates light that leaves your body and surrounds you.

Visualize the people near you, sending ideas, judgments, and perceptions that just don’t fit. And now visualize the light of your center clearing those misperceptions away. As light devours shadow, the truth about you wipes away judgment.

There is a second way we interact with the perceptions of others, and that is when our own perceptions are negative or false, and we can see ourselves most clearly through the eyes of another.

Sometimes I am massively frustrated with my own stupidity, and yet people I know tell me I’m smart. It can help to take that information in, to allow myself to know that I am seen as smart in a way that enriches my self-perception. If you think of yourself as unlovable, it is wonderful to meditate on the people who love you, and to feel their perception correct yours.

When my friends tell me how brave I am, it is easy to think, ‘Oh, no, they’re wrong. They wouldn’t think that way if they knew how terrified I was.’

But maybe they’re not wrong. Maybe they understand that behaving bravely in the world (the part they see) is a truer test of courage than feeling afraid while doing so (the part I see).

So, the second part of this meditation is to allow perceptions in.

Still grounded and centered, continue to focus on the bright light of your center. Make sure that light feels secure and stable, it will never fade. You know yourself.

And now, knowing yourself, allow loving and truthful perceptions in. Allow your knowledge to wake up, to expand, as a result of the things others say to you.

Hear the words your friends have said. Hear, in your mind, the voices saying “I love you,” “You’re so smart,” “You’re so kind,” and any other things that they said.

Sometimes it is hard to take those words in. Take them in now. Feel how the light that is you glows stronger and brighter when enhanced by loving perceptions.