Archive for November 20, 2007

Tuesday Trivia: The Nameless

1. His character is sometimes referred to by reviewers as “Jack” because of medical literature he reads.
Hint: “I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.”
Solved by Evn (comment #21).

2. His character is referred to only by the instrument he plays, which is referenced as initials in the credits.
Solved by Melville (comment #2).

3. His character is referred to only by a foul insult, which is referenced as initials in the credits.
Hint: Of the foul nickname, the character played by Jack Black says “It’s a name that’s going to stick.”
Solved by Roberta (comment #28).

4. She is never named on-screen, even during her own wedding, but she is given a first name in the credits; film fans sometimes refer to her by first and last name, using the name from the novel.
Hint: Two Japanese actresses have important roles in this film. After filming began, they traded roles, because our (now nameless) actress didn’t speak English well enough to master her original role. These two actresses also appeared together the year before in a comedy by a very well-known director.
Solved by Roberta (comment #26).

5. She is referred to only as Mrs., never by a first name, although her husband’s previous wife is referred to by first name.
Solved by Roberta (comment #1).

6. It makes sense that this character is nameless; she is primarily the main character’s fantasy—even though she’s real, her role in the film is to be what he imagines a beautiful temptation to adultery should be like.
Solved by Melville (comment #2).

7. This character is nameless in her first movie, but not in its sequel. In the several instances of her name being spoken in the first movie, it is bleeped out.
Solved by Hazel (comment #3).

Apparently Women Don’t Know Anything About Dieting

I listen to news radio in the morning. Traffic, weather, you know. So from time to time I hear some outrageously stupid reporting.

Like this story on younger women dying of heart disease.

Heart experts aren’t sure what went wrong, but they think increasing rates of obesity and other risk factors are to blame.

The doctor interviewed on the radio suggested that perhaps women weren’t as aware of the risks, and weren’t paying as much attention to their diets.

Women. Weren’t paying as much attention. To their diets.

::headdesk::

Raise your hand if you think that could possibly be true. Anyone? Bueller?

Women pay constant attention to their diet. It’s unusual and remarkable for a woman not to pay attention to her diet.

Waaaaaay at the bottom of the article, there’s one smart statement:

The fact the male rate didn’t worsen may indicate doctors are more likely to suspect heart disease in men that age than in women, said the CDC’s Dr. Earl Ford, a study co-author.

Ya think? Ya think that maybe the fact that most women don’t even know that heart attack symptoms are different for women than for men. Because we aren’t educated. Because male symptoms are “person” symptoms. Because men are the default person. You know.

Or, it might be that too much dieting is causing the problem. There are cardiovascular risks to yo-yo dieting. Or it might be, um…anything other than women aren’t paying enough attention to their diets. Because really, that’s the stupidest thing I will hear today.

Glitter

Saturday I went to a birthday/costume party. Dressed as a fairy. So there was glitter involved.

Monday morning I arrive at work and someone says “There’s glitter in your hair.” Monday. Two days later.

Oy.

Then another person remarks on the glitter. Then another. My credibility is clearly shot. So anyway, I’m talking to the third person, and we’re joking around about it, and she says something about ‘What’s in that stuff, anyway?’ (Because it’s in my hair, eyebrows, bathroom sink…she figures probably my lungs as well.) And I said, ‘I dunno, probably carcinogens.’

And what it came down to was this: You know why you never see elderly fairies? That’s right. It’s the glitter. Fairy Lung.

Fair warning

Trivia tomorrow will be at 3 pm Eastern time.

Monday Movie Review: Seraphim Falls

Seraphim Falls (2006) 5/10
A trapper named Gideon (Pierce Brosnan) is shot by Carver, a man from his past (Liam Neeson), seeking to settle an unknown grudge from the Civil War.

Most of Seraphim Falls is Neeson’s pursuit of Brosnan, and Brosnan’s desperate flight of survival. Shot in the shoulder, he barely uses the arm at all for the length of the film, and the pursuit and flight have a brutal sort of realism. The cinematography is iconically Western, and enjoyable. Dialogue is sparse. Brosnan is almost entirely alone; Neeson interacts with the men he has hired to help him in his pursuit, but there’s nothing in the way of musing about the past or swapping yarns or anything like that. These men embody the laconic Western anti-hero, and we watch with interest. Unable to determine right or wrong, we let our sympathies fall in the middle. Brosnan makes the interesting choice of gasping and crying out in pain as he flees from his (at that time) unknown shooter; he’s tough as they come, so you expect a typical macho stoicism. He doesn’t have it. He’s hard, he’s smart, he’s an incredible survivor, but he gasps and cries out and weeps. Meanwhile, Neeson is relentless and single-minded. Thus, your sympathy moves towards Brosnan. At the same time, you definitely are aware that Neeson has some good reason for his vendetta, that he feels he is the wronged party. This isn’t some villain out to avenge some villainous deed.

There’s no doubt, as you watch this very silent, beautifully bare movie, that the explanation will only come when the two at last meet. And indeed, this is what happens. Unfortunately, the back story we’re given, after all that wait, is merely okay. It answers some questions but is bare in places it should not be. It skews towards making Neeson’s character too much the cliché of sweetness and light. But okay, it was a good-looking movie, appealingly tough, and I was willing to have a back story, an ending, and call it a night.

But no.

Shortly before the final showdown, there were a couple of scenes with a group of pilgrims that made no sense to me. They felt strangely episodic, and reminded me of Dead Man. (I never want to be reminded of Dead Man.)

Turned out that was a prophetic reminder. After what I thought was the film’s denouement, it keeps going. Only now it’s mystical. That’s right, the gritty realism gives way to sudden appearances by characters speaking cryptically with pseudo-wisdom. And one of them is Anjelica Huston. There’s a lot of that. If there was a little, I’d be like, Oh this is a good movie that I recommend, but ignore the ending. But the ending isn’t the ending, it’s approximately the final third of the movie. And that’s just wrong.

After I endured all this nonsense, Arthur pointed out that “seraphim” is, itself, a mystical term; seraphim are the many-eyed angels who sit beside God in heaven. So “Seraphim Falls” = Fallen Angels. What. Ev. Er.

Look. People. I mean you, you movie-making people. Make a good movie with meaning. Don’t structure a meaning and then shoehorn the movie into it. Don’t assume your audience is so numb to meaning that we can’t tell there’s any in your film unless you broadcast it with neon This! Is! The! Meaning! signs.

It’s your fault you made me take most of the points away from this movie. Meet me halfway, people.

Sunday Meditation: Cloak of Peace

This is a meditation that creates a post-hypnotic suggestion that can be used to help you with ungoing problems. I am here creating a Cloak of Peace that can help with anxiety, but you can use a Cloak of Calm or Focus to help with hyperactivity or restlessnes, you can use a Cloak of Serenity to deal with mood swings or rage, you can use a Cloak of Contentment to help manage depression.

Ground and center.

Breathe in and feel peace. Suffuse yourself with peace.

Breathe out and release anxiety. Anxiety, worries, and unhappy thoughts rush away from you as air leaves your lungs.

Breathe in: Peace.

Breath out: Release anxiety.

As you begin to feel more and more peaceful, visualize yourself putting on a beautiful cloak. It is a lovely color, a color you associate with peace. (For most people, this is a deep sky blue, but you can choose any color you like.)

You are wearing your cloak, and breathing in peace. Notice how peaceful you feel, while visualizing the cloak as clearly as possible. See its color. Feel the texture of the fabric, and the weight of it on your shoulders. Feel the warmth as it envelopes you.

Your cloak envelopes you in peace.

After doing this meditation several times over a period of days, you can begin to put on the cloak in order to feel more peaceful. Say you’re out in public and feel a lot of anxiety. Visualize putting on the cloak. Or you’re sitting down to take your SATs and waves of anxiety hit you. Visualize putting on the cloak. You can put on the cloak before entering into a situation that you know will make you anxious.

It’s important to occasionally do the full meditation, creating peace, putting on the cloak, and then feeling the peace. Do it once in a while even after the cloak is working on its own, to reinforce it.

I just scolded a co-worker

I honestly don’t know when I became a person who scolds co-workers.

I was in the kitchen getting myself coffee. The head of our business unit was in there, and another guy was in there, chatting him up. The other guy is one of those inappropriate, loud, geek types. And he sat on one of the kitchen tables. He sat on one of the kitchen tables.

I said “Get your butt off of where we eat food.”

Then I said “Now go get a sponge and clean it off.”

He did it. Then he got kind of sarcastic and was all “I cleaned it just for you, Deborah.”

I said “Everyone who eats here appreciates knowing no butts were on their food. That is a reasonable boundary to have.”

And the thing is, first of all, butt on the table? For fuxake! But second of all, when did the kind of nagging I do at home as the mother of a teen become the kind of thing I’m willing to say to anyone, any time? Isn’t that…disturbing? Is there something wrong with me?

Whatever. At least the table is clean.

Solutions to Tuesday Trivia

This one turned out well…not too hard, not too easy.

» Read more..

Your hint is here

Go and be enlightened.

Wicca on House

House is one of my favorite TV shows. Even when it’s a bad episode, I enjoy it. Last night, there was a mention of Wicca on House, and I thought it was notable.

There’s a film crew doing a documentary about one of House’s patients. They interview Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) who uses the opportunity to totally punk his best friend, House. He does a whole song and dance about how “the records were sealed” and “he was probably just tapping his toes” and then says “it was a witch hunt” and the documentarians asked if he means House was singled out because…And Wilson interrupts and says “No, I mean literally. House practices the religion of Wicca. It’s a beautiful religion, all about love. They’re very sweet people.”

Okay, if you know what an evil cynic House is, it’s hysterically funny. But notice that (a) What Wilson said about Wicca was positive and nice and fairly accurate, (b) His usage was correct—not “House is a Wicca” like they were always saying on Buffy, but “the religion of Wicca,” and (c) the joke only works if a familiarity with Wicca can be assumed in the audience. And yes, that familiarity includes being bemused and thinking it’s silly—fluffy—but I still think it’s huge progress.