Today is my birthday (thank you, thank you). How you can screw up your birthday is through expectations and hopes that are not articulated or fulfilled. There’s a fantasy about being catered to; that it will be like when you’re a kid, and the entire world parts like the Red Sea with birthday greetings and people bringing you breakfast in bed and presents and kisses.
The world is not the Red Sea of birthday greetings.
So let’s take a moment to contemplate this expectation. There is within you some longing. Some desire to be acknowledged, to be treated with regard, to be loved. This is a good desire, normal, human, poignant and real. It is harmful only when nurtured as a resentment towards the world instead of as a feeling of self-regard that is projected outward.
Imagine (or remember) being an infant. Imagine being held, nurtured, and cuddled. Imagine a space of infinite and unconditional love.
You are an infant and unconditionally loved.
Now visualize growing up, bit by bit. You are a toddler, and still loved. You are a child, and still loved. As you grow, you also grow in independence. You are cuddled less, and cared for less, but loved just as much. As you grow, visualize that love as a thing you hold within. Visualize that love as a warm, glowing place within you. It was put there in infancy, and there it remains, glowing and warming you. It is fueled by the love given to you by others, and also by the love you give to yourself.
Continue to grow up, and see that glowing love within.
Now see yourself as you are today, and see the warm, glowing ball of love within you, nurturing you, warming you, loving you. Others love you and you love yourself. Visualize the people who love you. See them coming to you, hugging you, kissing you on the cheek, shaking your hand—however they might express themselves. And see that warm glow responding, brightening, in response to the love all around you.
And now go within, and notice that you have the ability to brighten the ball of love by yourself. Look at it, and while looking, love yourself, and notice it glowing brighter and warmer. Praise yourself for the things you’ve done well, and see the brightness. Forgive yourself for small flaws, and notice the warmth. Kiss yourself on the cheek. Stroke your own shoulders. And feel how very loved you are.
And now let the glow shine out. Let it be a part of your aura. It surrounds you. Let yourself be in the world glowing with the aura of being loved. As you move through your day, you are loved. As you do your work, you are loved. Know that this glow is always a part of you.
