Call for New Words

I was thinking about a new post, and I got stuck on a word.

“Friend.”

Because the person I was going to refer to is not a friend. Neither is he an acquaintance. It seems to me there’s a significant gap between those two words, filled by a vast number, perhaps a majority, of our social relationships.

A friend is an intimate, a confidant. They know some personal stuff, they know you with your proverbial or literal hair down. Obviously, there are degrees of friendship; they won’t all help you bury the bodies, but a friend is someone on the inside.

Acquaintances are people you know, and that’s about that. You’ve been introduced. They’re present or former co-workers, or clients, a friends-of-a-friend, or the real estate agent of your brother-in-law.

But what about everyone else? The people whom you hug when you see them, with whom you keep in touch and occasionally drop a line to, but who don’t know your birthday or your problems. There are many people whom I know, for whom “acquaintance” is too cold, and “friend” is too warm. Often I say “someone I’m friendly with.” They are friendlies. Or something.

Anyway, I want a new word. And here it is: A call for you to nominate new words that you want. What do you say instead of a word you wish really existed? What word do you grope for regularly that simply is not there?

16 comments

  1. Daven says:

    How about a new word or two for this:

    You are physically tired, but still awake and alert and can think, or the opposite when you are mentally exhausted and physically you are fine.

    Sleepy or tired doesn’t cover those. Sleepy means you can go to sleep, means that you are ready to shut your mind AND body off and let it recuperate. Tired means that you are a little worn down, but once again it applies to both the mind and body.

    So words that apply to one or the other.

  2. deblipp says:

    You’re right; brain-tired-body-awake is a very specific state, as is the opposite.

  3. Roberta says:

    I want more words for the various gradiations of bisexuality. Bisexual implies a 50/50 split, or something close to it. I have a good friend (he really is a friend) who declares himself gay because, although he likes women a little, he felt it was important in his own life to identify as gay. Me, I like women a little too, (he and I probably like women about the same amount), but not enough to qualify myself as bisexual. But not quite straight either.

    (And you knew I’d bring this up.)

  4. deblipp says:

    (And you knew I’d bring this up.)

    Actually, I thought you’d bring up “integritous.”

    But I want those words too. A halfway point between straight and bi, a halfway point between gay and bi.

    And also, things like, “I’d fuck either but would only marry one.” Which, currently, is usually identified as the orientation you’d marry.

  5. Roberta says:

    No, it’s integrous. I use it often.

    Apparently W00t is Merriam-Webster’s 2007 word of the year.

  6. deblipp says:

    I use integretous. Or integritous. All the time. If there was a real word, we’d both use the same one.

    I heard about w00t. It’s very nice and all, but it doesn’t help us.

  7. Ken says:

    I think your are restricting the word “friend” – to me it would apply to the situation you are describing. Friend can be modified with a descriptor like “close friend”, which is more like what you describe – but you could also substitute somewhat obsolete phrases like “pal”, “chum”, “buddy”……

  8. Roberta says:

    …”work friend”, “fuck buddy”…

  9. Ken says:

    “work friend”… or, as Dogbert puts it, “Cow-orker”……

  10. Tracy says:

    McFriends, Friendsters? Pseudo-Friends?

  11. Roberta says:

    McFriends; heh heh.

    Last week I told a work friend (see?) that I had an interesting encounter in the elevator with a cute co-worker. “Not like a Grey’s elevator encounter, though”.

  12. deblipp says:

    I do say “work friend.” I guess this person is kind of a “colleague;” he’s someone I met at a conference and we keep in touch. But everything feels wrong; buddy is too informal, he’s not a co-worker, he’s almost a compatriot.

    Maybe this isn’t a call for a new word so much as a call to revive one of those other words. But not fuckbuddy. Fuckbuddy can go away.

  13. deblipp says:

    Instead of “McFriend”?

  14. Evn says:

    I think “compatriot” should make a comeback.

    The term “fuck buddy” doesn’t bother me, but only because I’ve heard it consistently used by casual acquaintances for the last 14 years.

  15. michael lipp says:

    It’s actually an interesting question… in a way like someone who was extremely close and has grown distant – but remains connected – a high school teacher who was a mentor — Someone who would be a friend, under slightly different circumstances