You know, sometimes when women are pregnant, people say inappropriate things. Maybe give too many scary details about labor or tell them “you’ll never sleep again” and other things that are kind of overwhelming to someone who’s already committed. I’ve probably done that myself more than twice.
But you know what people don’t do? They don’t say “You will hate it,” “You will wish the baby had never been born,” “You might consider open adoption instead,” “I heard about this woman who killed her baby,” “He’ll undoubtedly disappoint you once he’s born,” “You’re going to screw this up.” You don’t hear that so much.
When people get married, again, lots of unsolicited advice, some of which is wildly inappropriate, but mostly not “Well, when you get divorced, you’re going to be pretty fucking broke for a while, so maybe you should learn some rice and beans recipes now.”
But that feels like ninety percent of what people say to me when I tell them my son is going into college. I mean, I posted here about my leap of faith, and the comments were fucking scary. No one said, “yay for faith” or “congratulations” or “you must be so proud,” and I really would have liked to hear that. I’m almost afraid to tell anyone now, because I hear all that scary stuff every day, from all manner of people.
Truly I don’t get it. I know it’s scary. And I know people are just sharing their own experiences and I appreciate that. But this is a vulnerable transition for us, a life passage, a time of celebration and rebirth and yes, fear. And damn if I wouldn’t love some support. And I have no right, really, to post my business all over the Internet and then scold people for their responses, but did I mention how I also blurt inappropriately? Yeah. So this is maybe one of those. But I just don’t understand why people are SO negative. Like it’s a mistake to go to college. Or to pay for it. Or to be excited about it. Or something. And this is like pregnancy, people. If you keep telling me this shit, the baby’ll be born cross-eyed or something.
