I hate Fanty

So the Gang of Two consists of Mingo and Fanty. Mingo has some annoying eccentricities, but is basically the ideal pet. Independent yet affectionate, he’s even a good mouser.

His sister, on the other hand, is here on earth to drive me mad. And she’s succeeding. She’s so nervous that if you walk near her she runs and hides, and yet so demanding that she will cry near your hand until you pet her, and cry whenever you stop, for hours. (But only your hand. She’s terrified of being picked up.)

Fanty has occasional seizures (I know, I know). Previously, they’d been every couple of months, but then she had three in four weeks, so we decided to medicate her. Problem is, she’s nervous, so I was very concerned about giving her pills. My vet gave me Pill Pockets. You put the pill inside the treat and squish it closed. The first one, she refused to eat, and I had to force it down her throat. The second one, she ran from me when she saw it, and forcing it down her throat was harder. Somehow, though, she realized they tasted good, and the next dose she ate readily when I left it on the floor by the spot where she comes to cry at my hand, and soon she was begging for them.

The problem is that I have to get Mingo out of the way because he doesn’t have seizures and shouldn’t have phenobarbital.

This morning it was complicated. Mingo was in the bedroom and Fanty was not. I couldn’t get Mingo out, and then Fanty went into the bathroom, and I thought ‘Fine, I’ll give it to her there’ and shut myself and a pill in with her, but she became upset and cried. So I opened the door, got Mingo out, and shut us into the bedroom.

But now she was already upset and just cried and cried and cried. I put the pill/treat on the floor on her spot and dangled my hand, but she was having none of it, and just kept crying. So I thought I’d ignore her so she could relax, and started fiddling with my cellphone.

At which point, she got up on my bed and let loose a long, angry stream of urine.

Peed.

On my bed.

Sort of “Welcome to Monday” writ large.

12 comments

  1. Ken says:

    Kinda offsets that great day Saturday, innit…….

    My dogs have taken to peeing anywhere and everywhere in the house when we leave, so we have had to start gating them in the kitchen whenever we leave the house. They still pee there, but it’s easier to clean up…..

  2. Deborah Lipp says:

    I knew she had a pee problem, and I really thought until today that it was a laziness thing. Like, oh, my litter box is all the way downstairs, and the laundry basket is right here.

    But this was punitive urination and I am not happy.

  3. Evn says:

    Oooh, this reminds me of a story…

    Jack and I used to have this cat (now deceased) named Cagney, who hated us. She wasn’t vicious or anything, just extremely resentful about the living arrangements in which she found herself.

    This one time our apartment got infested with fleas, and Jack had to bathe all three cats. After her bath, Cagney ran off and hid, and we figured we wouldn’t hear from her for the rest of the evening. However, when we were getting ready to go to sleep, we pulled back the covers to find that Cagney had peed on Jack’s side of the bed–not a puddle, mind you, but a thin stream from foot to pillow. Apparently, she had crawled under the covers when no one was looking and, like, scooted along while urinating.

    Also, if her litter box–that is to say one of her litter boxes, she demanded a separate box for each form of excretion–wasn’t spotless, she’d place her front paws on the rim and pee all over the floor.

    It was kind of like having a pet demon.

  4. Deborah Lipp says:

    I’m getting a fish.

  5. Evn says:

    I want rats, but Jack said no.

  6. is there a way to get her meds in liquid form? i have one who is EXTREMELY hard to pill, but i can squirt liquids down his throat before he realizes what’s happening.

  7. also, love the names, but you should have known you were in for trouble naming them after those two!

  8. Deborah Lipp says:

    My long-time readers know we had a Name the Gang of Two contest running here for weeks.

    Phenobarb isn’t available as a liquid, but the problem isn’t pilling her, it’s catching her. The Pill Pockets have been working fine, but once she realized she was locked in, I was doomed.

  9. Roberta Lipp says:

    Sucks so terribly hard. One time when I lived in mom’s basement Silky peed in the dining room and it leaked through. I was awakened to a rain of pee on my bed.

    Still sucks hard, ’cause you can’t just make mom deal with it.

  10. Deborah Lipp says:

    When it’s malicious, it’s worse.

    Charlotte would do it maliciously, but I adored Charlotte so I forgave her. When I went to the emergency room and ended up gone for three days, she peed on my purse within an hour of me getting home.

    But y’know, she missed me. Whereas Fanty’s just a bitch.

  11. Tracy says:

    Peachy peed in Justin’s shoe this morning. It wasn’t funny until he put his foot in it. And as I write, Dominic, who is about 26 years and who now resembles Keith Richards, just vomited all the floor.

    Did I mention how much I love cats.

  12. Erin says:

    I had a cat named Clea who was just mean and malicious from birth. Her favorite, non pain inflicting, prank was to break out of the second story windows. As she was to fat or lazy to get back inside on her own, she would scream, and I mean Scream, until you came out onto the steep perpetually wind blown roof to retrieve her. Then she would run away. I honestly don’t remember why we kept her.