Today, the New York Transit Authority settled a lawsuit with a transgendered woman. She had been arrested three times for using the women’s bathroom in the subway (she works for Verizon and was repairing payphones in the subway).
When I heard this story on the morning news, they chose to devote a lot of airtime to some “woman in the street” interview spewing a lot of ignorance. Seriously, they give major news ten seconds and this woman was quoted twice, for a total that must have approached a half a minute.
First, she blathered about how “they” shouldn’t be in the “wrong” bathroom and so on and just basically expressed her discomfort with the whole notion of transgender. And then she said how the obvious solution was to have them use the bathroom for their “real” gender.
Right. Because it would be so much more welcome for a woman to show up in the men’s room. That would definitely go over better. Geez Pete, even if you insist that a transgendered woman is “really” a man, how thoughtless do you have to be not to envision the kind of problems, including violence, that would ensue?
Likely, she would be beaten to a pulp by some macho man who was using the bathroom at the same time. He’d die of embarrasment as a skirted woman came in, then when she dropped trou and pulled out a penis, incensed and ready to kill.
I know this situation too well. Happened to me when I dressed in public. Nearly raped becaue of it once.
Wow. That’s an intense tale.
Tell the truth, it’s what I envisioned, which is why giving this woman so much air time pissed me off. But it’s more compelling to hear it from someone who’s been there.
Jeezuz h. christ…these poor people just wanna go potty & people are having a shit fit…
I’ve known a couple of people that went through the change. Even went to the bathroom with them once.
And sat & laughed a little while I thought who was in the “women’s room” with me.
Sadly, some people just can’t get their heads in the space that *we* do.
What I’d be interested to know is this; having never been in a women’s restroom that lacked stalls, why the hell should one even know, let alone care, who is in the next stall over?
I’ve been trying to figure that out myself. I also don’t understand how those cab drivers in Minneapolis know their fares are transgendered. WTF?
I apologize for this comment being so long.
I’ve known a couple of people who are transgendered and they both say that they try to find places that have the “family” or “unisex” bathrooms where they can lock the door. They even mentioned that they keep track of places that have bathrooms like this and tend to shop there more frequently. Unfortunately, I am guessing that these types of bathrooms are not widely available everywhere.
Deborah – In Mpls, depending on what area people are being picked up or dropped off, there are areas that are known for the residents being gay/transgendered/etc. Maybe that has something to with it?
Amy – I do care, to some extent, who is next to me, but that is because of something I experienced. (Not talking about people who are transgendered). When I was about 5 years old, my mom, younger brother and I went into a bathroom at a department store. There were three stalls with the last stall being marked by an ‘out of order’ sign. My brother happened to catch a glimpse of the inside of the stall (by peaking throught the cracks like most 2 1/2 year olds will do).
My brother told my mom that there was a man in there and that man was peaking into the next stall watching people. He was using a small mirror on a stick. My mom got us out of there, went and told store security and the man was arrested. He was found out later to be a convicted sex offender.
Sojourner, that’s creepy. Of course, gender doesn’t really play in the story (although I am not surprised it was a man), but still…total ick.
Absolutely total ick — but doesn’t that just make someone who just wants to *use* the restroom seem much less disturbing?
Debbie,
unfortunately part of the process is a transition phase. Think of puberty taken to a frankenstien kind of end. In actual transsexual processes, there is a time period when the estrogen is having to overwhelm the natural testosterone produced by the testees and that makes for some severe transitions. The fat layer under the skin has not formed yet, the adam’s apple has not shrunk, there is still hair on the face in places that it doesn’t appear on women, and there is the obvious wig. It’s very rare for a man to put on a dress and actually look GOOD in it. Heck, I did it and while it was a tasteful transition (so said a lady who works with female impersonators all the time), you can still tell I’m male. I can share the pics if you really want me to.
Then there is speaking. The vocal chords in a guy are thicker and longer, making for a deeper voice. That does not change at all just because of estrogen. THen there is walking, moving, that hint of “other” that women normally have. The best of the transgenders can pass as women, even to other women, but it takes several hours to do so. The average TG does several hours of work, and may be spotted as a butch lesbian if she’s lucky.
There are classes that a TG can take in some cases to learn how to walk and move and make up and so on, but that’s only if you can find someone like that.
Think of Patrick Swazie in “To Wong Fu….” That was one of the best transofrmations I have EVER seen, but you could still tell he was a girl. Now imagine her on the streets of NYC and you might be able to see how a cabbie (who has seen the best and worst of humanity if they have worked there for over a month) might be able to spot a TG in his cab.
Sorry, not meaning to rant in your blog.
Sorry, last paragraph should read “still tell he was NOT a girl.”
First of all, please don’t call me Debbie.
I understand how difficult the transition is, and indeed, some transgendered women don’t look much like women.
Then again, some women who were born with female bodies don’t look much like women. Post-menopausal women, and women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome can have quite a lot of facial hair. Some women with intersexed traits have very deep voices. Most of us learn to politely ignore features that don’t fit and accept people at face value if they are clearly acting as a gender and not just play-acting.
Sorry Deborah. I hadn’t realized that I did that. Mea culpa.